Crazy Local TV Commercial.

*Fart* JAILED.

Via a Florida Paper:

"STUART — A student at Spectrum Junior-Senior High School was arrested earlier this month after he passed gas and turned off his classmate’s computers, according to a report released Friday by the Martin County Sheriff’s Office.

According to the report, the incident occurred Nov. 4, when the 13-year-old boy “continually disrupted his classroom environment” by purposely breaking wind. He then shut off some computers other students were using.

A school resource officer placed the boy under arrest after he confessed about his behavior, according to the report. He was charged with disruption of school function and released to his mother."

FATALITY!

Hope you connection isn't too slow, because this is a bad-ass gif.

SNL Friday.

Yet another absurd SNL Digital Short.

I think my favorite part is "Act Casual," hahah...

Also, a short story by me.

A drawback of working at a large corporation is that I often get phone calls not meant for me.  It usually goes like this:

"Hello, this is Dan."

"... Bob?"

"No, what extension are you trying to reach?"

"19358"

"Ok, this is 1935."

How does that even work?  I don't know.  AG are morons.

So I don't check my voicemail often. I checked today for the first time since Monday, and had 7 new messages (that's unusual, we use mostly email).  Tuesday, I got one from a "Bill Hueg."  Summing it up, it went something like this:

"Hey Jim, this is Bill.  I just wanted to let you know we have a Continental Tour coming around today at 10, so if you can be ready by then, everything should go smoothly."

Then on Thursday, I got one going,

"Hey Jim, Bill again.  Remember that Continental group we were gonna be presenting to?  Well, they're showing up today instead at 2, so if you could make sure to do your thing and have the presentation ready to go, that'd be great, thanks, I'll see you soon."

Well.  I hope I didn't just lose someone money or a commission of some kind.  

My Investments dropped about %8 in the past Month

I've been looking at buying a house recently. A main part of my down payment is to come from investments. When I received my most recent statement, I saw that my investments dropped about 8% in one month. Damn Elections.

In related news the stock market dropped 400 points the day after elections citing "Investors Weary of an Obama Presidency.". The following day, it dropped about 390 points, and it dropped 410 points today.

To that end...I say....

Haha, Oh Jesus, You So Funny!

I almost wanted to wait on posting this to give Jason's entry some time to breathe, people to read it, and debate and respond. I was just so glad Jason wrote something, I wanted it to be at the top of this page for a while! But I gotta post some of these Jesus images because they made me laugh so hard. But please, everyone, scroll down and read and give your thoughts to Jason's post!

Here is just a taste of images from "40 Awesome Versions Of Jesus." Some are dumb, some are weird, some are just gross.  But some are HILARIOUS.  Like these:

Politics (A Really Serious Post From Someone Who Hates Politics).

Ok... I am not political at all. I have never voted and didn't really care who won the last election because after reading both McCain and Obama's economic plan I came to the conclusion that no matter which person won I was pretty much screwed as far as taxes go. I understand completely why everyone is so excited about Obama and 'change'. I really do; the country is in bad shape and people are scared. I am even pretty sure I am a Democrat (I am pro-choice, against war, think gays should marry, believe in equal rights... thats all democratic right??). However, there is something that Democrats believe in and that Obama believes in that I am completely and totally against.

If McCain won, I would be paying out the ass in taxes to pay for military, science, healthcare, etc. While it sucks that I would pay more just b/c I am single, in a higher 'salary' bracket, don't own a home and don't have kids... my tax money would be going for things that are good. My higher taxes with Obama will go towards allowing lazy assholes who can't hold down a job, can't keep there dicks under wraps and can't keep needles out of there arms to live lives equivalent to me. I know the democratic way is 'everyone should get an equal chance' but honestly... fuck that. I work DAMN hard for my money and where I work I see EXACTLY where my tax money goes. It goes to some white piece of trash who can't even take care of herself let alone her 5 kids. That lazy piece of shit gets to eat lobster for dinner three times a week, steak the other night, AND owns a 50 inch plasma tv. Her five kids only own two outfits and shower maybe twice a week but they own EVERY video game system known to man. And the drugs they do... George Jung would be proud!! They are able to do all of this while never holding down a job because hard working people pay for them. All the bullshit about 'the economy holds them down... its not there fault'... all bullshit. If you work hard enough in this country you can make it. Racism, sexism... while they exist they are no longer barriers that hold people back. Lazyness holds people back. And government programs allow lazy people to get by.

Once again, I am not saying Obama is a bad person or that I am pissed he is elected. I am not going to pretend to know enough about politics to make that call. All I am saying is that I am not ok with my money going to people who don't deserve it. Everyone says "tax the rich more, the poor less"... why?? Everyone should pay the same percentage... the rich will always pay more because they make more, but they should pay the same percentage of what they make. People become wealthy because they EARNED they way up through hard work. By saying that people who make 200,000 a year should pay 20% but if you make 30,000 a year you should pay 10% you are punishing someone for being successful. That isn't right. I don't believe that just b/c you happen to have money you should be forced to support everyone else in the county. Some of the things I hear from Obama I agree with... for instance, big corporations shouldn't get tax breaks. I am just fearful that my hard earned money will go to Mr. and Mrs. trailerpark so they can have filet while I have to eat Ramen on Thursday's b/c I don't get paid until Friday.

Bingo!

Political Things: One Serious, One Fun.

First, I was watching Countdown with Keith Olbermann last night, and his Special Comment was directed toward those who voted for Prop 8 in California.  Yes, Olbermann can come off crazy, pompous, and overworked sometimes (Colbert once described him as: "rants like a guy who saves his own urine,") but I still love him.  And his comment here sums up the awfulness that is (well, was) Proposition 8.

Here's something else fun!  An article entitled, "Barack Obama: The 50 Facts You Might Not Know."  Did you know Obama is a Muslim and a Socialist???  ....Haha kidding, no, these are actual facts, not something my dad would forward around.   A few things on the list that make me like the guy even more:

- He collects Spider-Man and Conan the Barbarian comics.
- His favorite meal is wife Michelle's shrimp linguini.  (Delicious!)
- He has read every Harry Potter book.
- He drives a Ford Escape Hybrid, having ditched his gas-guzzling Chrysler 300.
- He hates the youth trend for trousers which sag beneath the backside.  
- He uses an Apple Mac laptop.

You can tell this was written in the UK.  Can't you imagine Buzz Killington saying, "I hate the youths and their trend for wearing their trousers sagging beneath their backside."  Man, everything the British do are awesome.

SNL Friday (Or Saturday. Whatever.)

An oldie, but a goodie (I think).  I know Phil Hartman did more sketches with this character, but I haven't been able to find em...

Yes. Implement This, America.