Saturday, January 31, 2009

Just For J: The Superbowl G.I. JOE Spot!

I Laugh At This Everytime.

Thursday, January 29, 2009

Liuzzi Tries To Write A Quasi-Movie Review: The Wrestler.

I recently got angry at myself for suddenly realizing I haven't seen: The Wrestler, Doubt, The Curious Case of Benjamin Button, Revolutionary Road, Slumdog Millionare, and Gran Torino.  And there's others I'm probably missing.

So tonight, I went to see The Wrestler

I already heard good things, so I can't say "I was surprised at how good it is."  And I'm still kinda taking it all in, thinking about it.  It's one of those movies where the actors, locations, dialogue, etc., are so damn gritty and well-done that looking back, it doesn't feel like I watched a movie in a theater; but rather that I was a fly on a wall, experiencing the life of this man.   

Micky Rourke plays Randy "The Ram" Ramzinski, an ex 80s pro-wrestler who now lives in a really poor area of Jersey, in his trailer he can barely afford.  (He works at Acme during the week.  Jersey Pride whaaat!)  His daughter hates him, and the closest thing to a friend he has is a stripper, played by Marisa Tomei.  (This isn't a Hollywood typical strip club she works at it.  It's almost uncomfortably real sometimes, and Tomei is topless 80% of the movie.  It's great.) Her character is a great parallel to Rourke's:  they are both aging performers in an already lowest-common-denominator, sleaze, escapist industry who are coming to realize that they have no place in the real world, yet are slowly becoming irrelevant to the only place they are themselves.

Rourke is meant to play this part.  I'll admit I haven't seen him in much  (I'm no movie expert here).  But I can't imagine anyone else playing this part, and Rourke does it brilliantly.   Tomei is great, too.  (How old is she?!  Did I say already how surprisingly hot she is for her age?) 

Anyway, here's the trailer, if you haven't see it yet.

It's like the thinking man's Rocky.

That's the best I can do, writing a review.  I'm not good at metaphors and stuff.  It's really good, you guys.  I can't give it "stars", because if I like something, it gets 5 stars, and don't like it, it gets 0 stars. 

So... 5 STARS!

Tuesday, January 20, 2009

See I was on the Line


"This brother seen him and was like GAAAHHHDDD-DDDAAAAAAAMMMMMMNNNNN"

"See how dat door hittin dat dang, see it's hittin dat dang"

"And I will be represented by this Hershey Kiss...........That's gay as I hell, i ain't gonna be no damn Hershey Kiss, what the hell I ain't got no other candy?"

"Hmm that's some good ice cream, that's the best ice cream I done had all year, umm umm ummm, ain't nothing like getting the flavor of some ice cream. Catchin da flava."

The entire Remote Control part.

"Now listen handicapped people, I have nothin against you. And I like the fact that you have y'all own parkin spaces right on the doh', you need em you deserve em you gone through a lot of shit, but you can't tell me yo mother f--kin' spot worth $300."

Monday, January 19, 2009

Liuzzi's Future Car (That is, Liuzzi's Car Model in the Future. Not a Car I am Buying in the Future. Because I Can't Afford It. Cleared Up?)

Ladies and Gents, the 2010 Toyota Prius.

- 50 mpg (I get about 44mpg)
- L.E.D. headlamps
- A SOLAR PANEL Moonroof.  When you're within 30 yards of the car, you can use your electronic key dealy to cool the cabin to a pre-set temperature, without ever turning on the engine.  Bad.  Ass.  Because I sweat alot and need my car cold at all times, even when I'm not yet in it.
-  Eco, EV, and Power Modes.  Example:  Eco-Mode reduces the sensitivity of the gas pedal in order to maximize fuel efficiency (I need this.  Leadfoot.  Very bad.).
- Pre-Collision System.  Basically, the car is smarter than you (well, ME, at least), and will go "Whoa now, Dan.  You're a little close to the car in front of you, dontcha think?  How bout I just brake a little for you?"  So it's essentially one step closer to the future where machines and technology take over the world.  It's Demetriou's nightmare.  I cannot wait.

I highly recommend this car, and give it 5 Liuzzi heads out of 5.

Monday, January 12, 2009

This Is Soley For Mike. Sorry, Everyone Else.

MIKE. I feel like if you've heard of these guys before, you would have said something. So I'm gonna go ahead and assume you haven't.

There is a heavy metal band called ArnoCorps.  They sing (Arno-core) songs based exclusively on Schwarzenegger movies.  They dress up in camouflage and fatigues and talk in false Austrian accents.  Go to their website I linked above and watch some of their videos, or read about them at their wiki article here.  I'm not gonna embed this one particular video, so I'll just send you the link.  This one isn't at their website, so check it out here.  The first two lines... I thought of you immediately.

Friday, January 9, 2009

Strange Promotion, Burger King.

I just read that apparently Burger King is having a really weird online promotion. It's an application for Facebook called, "Whopper Sacrifice." Once you install it, if you delete 10 friends from your 'Friends' list, you get a coupon for a free Whopper. It's kind of mean-spirited:

Each time you delete a 'friend' from your massively cluttered list, the application sends a notification to the banished party via Facebook's news feed explaining that your desire for a Whopper is stronger than your love for the unlucky former 'friend.' The application also adds a box on the user's profile page charting their progress toward the free burger with the line, "Who will be the next to go?"

My thoughts, of course, immediately turned to Dan Demetriou. This has Demetriou written all over it, if he had a FaceHop. It combines two things he loves! (A) Free nourishment and (B) putting his own desires over his friends'. I can see the imaginary news feed on Facebook now:

• Dan Demetriou is no longer friends with anyone.
• Dan Demetriou just got 10 Free Whoppers!

Thursday, January 8, 2009

Science: Never Ceases to Amaze!

You probably checked out the blog today thinking, "Hey, I have 17 minutes and 25 seconds to waste.  What should I do?"  Well, do I have a video for you!  I see some people finding this too nerdy (Mike, Penrith) and others finding it interesting (Demetriou, Jason). 

This video is about Bonobo apes.  I know how intelligent many simians are, but watching videos like this still put me in awe.  I don't wanna ruin the video by telling you some of the things they can do.... but I don't think anyone will watch, so here's what they can do:  use cigarette lighters to start fires, drive golf carts (poorly), use scissors to trim a baby bonobo's hair, make sharp stone tools similiar (if not better) than ones our ancestors made, write in their own language... and play pac-man!  And play it really damn well!